Scar Tissue
by BalthierFan6828
Summary: Basch and Balthier find out things they never knew, and both of them will have to decide once and for all what is important to them. Balthier/Basch pairing. Rated M for good reason!
1. Chapter 1

**And we're back… So I'm bored and decided to write a new fic. This is a Balthier/Basch pairing, which I'm not as fond of as Balthier/Vaan but it's not a bad pairing. I don't own FFXII or its characters in any shape form or fashion. I'm going rate this fic M because I don't really know what will happen. Review please!**

**Scar Tissue**

**Chapter 1**

Basch couldn't ignore the nausea anymore. He wiped the sweat from his brow and shivered, trying not to let the pain in his head overwhelm him.

"I can try another cure spell if you want," said Balthier from beside him in the cockpit, "Although I doubt it will have any effect. There's just no easy way of getting rid of the flu."

"I'll be fine," the blonde assured him, though he was feeling about as far from fine as he could.

Balthier looked at the older man with raised eyebrows, wondering if he felt as bad as he looked. "Do you have a fever?" he asked after a moment, trying not to sound as genuinely concerned as he felt.

Basch only shrugged at this, drawing a sigh from the pirate. "Let me see," he said as he rose from his seat and placed his hand on the captain's forehead. The older man attempted to pull away from him, but Balthier stopped him, "Calm down, I'm only seeing if you have a fever."

Basch closed his eyes at the touch of the pirate's smooth skin on his forehead. "You should go and lie down," said the brunette, causing the older man to open his eyes again, "You're burning up."

"You shouldn't get so close," said Basch, "You'll catch it."

The pirate chuckled at this and helped the blonde to his feet, "If I was going to catch it I would have already," he said, "Come on, let's get you to your room."

"I don't need any help," muttered Basch, nearly falling over as he did so.

"Obviously," smirked Balthier, "But still, I think I'll escort you anyway."

Basch allowed the brunette to hold onto his arm, half holding him up as he led him down the hall to his room. Balthier led him over to his bed, and knelt down in front of him to unlace his boots. Basch watched him with half closed eyes, "I feel like shit," he murmured, more to himself than to Balthier. He opened his eyes all the way to see the other man staring at him with a look of concern on his face.

"The others won't be back for a few days," Balthier said, breaking the awkward silence, "don't worry Ashe won't see you sick if that's what you're worried about, you'll be well long before she gets back." "Why would I care if she sees me sick?" asked Basch, silently wondering if he'd seen a flicker of jealousy in the pirate's eyes when he'd spoken of the princess.

Balthier shrugged as he started to unlace Basch's other boot, "I just assumed you two….were…an item."

Basch studied the other man's face, yes he was sure he saw a hint of jealousy now, "No," he said after a moment, "She is not my type."

Balthier was relieved, although he refused to admit that to himself. His breath hitched in his throat when Basch removed his shirt. The blonde's chest was beautifully sculpted, and diamond droplets of sweat clung to it, slowly running down onto his stomach. The pirate couldn't look up at the older man, but sat staring at his chest. Had he looked up he would have seen Basch silently studying him, unsure of exactly what he was feeling. Before he could stop himself Basch stroked the other man's cheek, causing the pirate's eyes to snap up to meet his gaze.

They sat there silently for a moment, watching each other intently, and Basch trailed his fingers down to the pirate's lips. Balthier did not resist the gentle push on his lips, and opened his mouth, drawing the older man's finger inside and caressing it with his tongue. Basch shivered at bit as he watched Balthier suck his finger, unable to deny the fact that he was enjoying it. He pulled the pirate up onto the bed, and kissed him.

They were both unsure, and a little scared of what was going on, and so the kiss was a little awkward in the beginning. As the kiss deepened Basch laid down, guiding Balthier down with him. The blonde's lips gently moved over the other man's face and neck while his hands busied themselves with the clasps on the back of the pirate's vest. He was beginning to think he'd never get the damn thing off when finally he succeeded, and he was already making fast work of the buttons on the brunette's shirt before the black and gold vest even hit the floor.

The feeling of Balthier's skin on his was almost more than he could handle, and both men were breathing heavy now. "Is this really happening?" the pirate whispered.

Basch nodded slowly and leaned in to kiss the other man gently, "I've…I've never…you know…with another man," he stammered into the pirate's ear, letting his lips brush against the earring that dangled there.

"Me neither," said Balthier in a hushed voice. Their eyes met again as Basch's hand reached the clasp of Balthier's pants. He paused, giving the pirate a last chance to change his mind. When he didn't say anything the blonde let his hand slide into the other man's leather pants. Balthier's heart started beating faster than he would have thought possible when Basch's fingers reached his penis, there was no turning back now. They rid themselves of their pants slowly, both afraid and unsure, but neither of them wanting to stop. "How are we gonna go about this?" panted Basch as he nipped the brunette's ear gently.

"I…I don't know," said Balthier, but he already knew that he wanted Basch inside him. He lowered his head to the other man's member, and as he began to suck he felt Basch's calloused hand resting on the back of his head, his fingers entwined in his spiky brown hair. A small sound like a moan escaped the captain's throat, and Balthier stopped his sucking and raised his head back up to kiss the other man. "Do it," whispered Balthier in his ear.

"This will probably hurt," Basch warned him, and he pushed into the other man slowly. "Oh shit!" breathed the pirate into the other man's chest.

The blonde kissed his forehead, "Is it bad?" he questioned, "Do you want to stop?"

"No, just give me a minute," said the brunette, "I just have to get used to it." Balthier laid there a moment, his head still pressed hard against Basch's chest, "Ok," he panted, "I…I think I'm ready."

Basch started moving slowly and after a few minutes the pirate started making tiny noises of pleasure. The more Balthier moaned, the harder Basch thrust into him, until finally he was pounding into the other man with everything he had. "Oh! God Balthier!" he moaned, knowing he wasn't going to last much longer and he was almost relieved when the other man hit his climax, his own following within seconds. He collapsed on top of the pirate and gently kissed him.

"We just fucked," said the pirate as if he were only now realizing the fact.

Basch propped himself up on one elbow and looked down at the other man, "So what now?" he asked, "Is this one of those things we never mention again or…." He left the sentence hanging halfway through.

"What do you want?" asked Balthier, tracing something imaginary on the blonde's chest with a ringed finger.

Basch sighed, "I don't know…I…I think…I think I want to _be_ with you." He kept his eyes on the pirate's hand, not wanting to look him in the eye.

"Good," said Balthier, the smile evident in his voice, "I think I want that too."

"Do we tell the others?" asked Basch. "I doubt they'd understand," said Balthier, looking up to meet the older man's gaze.

Basch pulled his pirate close to him and held him tightly, "Now I know you're gonna catch the flu from me," he said jokingly.

Balthier smiled, "I don't mind," he said, "Now get some sleep." They fell asleep in each other's arms, both unsure of how they would hide what was going on from the others.

_To be continued…_

**Hope you enjoyed! Review please! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 is also rated M, although I doubt it will be as bad as chapter one. Still don't own anything, hope you enjoy! Review Please!**

**Scar Tissue**

**Chapter 2**

Things were heavenly aboard the Strahl right up until the moment the others returned nearly three days later. Since both Balthier and Basch were determined not to let their relationship be known to the others they went to great lengths to stay away from each other. In fact, as the pirate lay wide awake in his bed that night he realized sadly that the older man had not so much as smiled at him in several days. He rolled over onto his side, staring at the empty space that days ago had contained the sleeping form of Basch every night between the time the two discovered their mutual attraction to each other to when the others returned to the ship. He flipped back over onto his back and sighed, there was no way he was getting to sleep. What time was it anyway? It had to be at least four in the morning. He glanced over at the clock on his desk…1:27…Jesus, it was that early? He rubbed his eyes and sighed again. Hearing his bedroom door slowly creak open he bolted upright and grabbed for his gun (which he kept under his pillow), aiming it into the darkness. "Balthier?" came a whispered voice, "Are you awake?" The pirate smiled, "Basch? Yeah I'm up, Jesus I nearly shot you you know!" He reached for the lamp on his bedside table and switched it on. A shirtless Basch stood several feet away, shielding his eyes from the sudden burst of light. "What are you doing here?" asked the brunette, unable to wipe the grin from his face. Basch smiled back and climbed into bed with the younger man, "I missed you," he said as he planted a kiss on the pirate's lips, "It's hard to sleep alone now." "I've been having the same problem," said Balthier wrapping his arms around his lover. "I'll wake up early and go back to my room before everyone else gets up," said the blonde as he guided Balthier's head back down to the pillow. They lay there facing each other, smiling and talking for a while, their fingers entwined together playfully. Finally they fell asleep, Basch's left arm wrapped protectively around the sleeping sky pirate, whose head was cradled to the older man's chest.

"I'll go get Vaan up," offered Penelo to Ashe as they sat in the kitchen waiting for Fran to finish cooking breakfast, "and I'm sure Basch is up but I'll tell him to hurry it up since I have to pass his room anyway. They should have been here by now." "I guess that leaves the pirate," muttered Ashe, "That means he's my duty to wake up then huh?" "I would appreciate it if you got them all to hurry," said Fran, "The food is getting cold." They men were often late getting up, and so the girls did not think much about it when they had to go and urge them to hurry it up every now and again. Penelo made her way down the hall and gave a quick knock on Basch's door, "Basch? Hey Fran says breakfast is ready!" she yelled, but got no answer. Shrugging to herself she went on down the hall to drag Vaan out of bed. Ashe took her time making her way to Balthier's room. She and the pirate did not see eye to eye, and she hated having the task of waking him up on his own ship. She reached the door, and after giving a quick knock, entered the room, "Balthier! Wake up, Fran says…OH MY GOD!" She stood there rooted to the spot for a moment staring at the two sleeping men before her. The pirate had his back to Basch, but was resting his head on the older man's right arm, which was buried beneath him, and clutching desperately to the man's other arm, which was draped across him protectively. Basch's head was buried in the crook of the sleeping pirate's neck. She didn't know whether to wake them or just turn and leave, but the option was soon taken away from her when Basch's eyes snapped open. It took him a minute for his surroundings to set in, "Oh, shit," he muttered and bolted upright, causing the blanket to fall down, revealing to the princess that both men were totally naked. "Oh my god!," Ashe cried again, and turned to leave as quickly as she could. "Ashe! Wait! Let me explain!" he called after her, "Balthier! Damnit wake up!" He roused the sky pirate and quickly explained the situation before both men, cursing under their breath, threw on some pants and headed after the startled princess, knowing their secret was out of the bag.

Ashe, shocked as she'd never been before in her life, made her way back to the kitchen. She had barely entered the room when the two men, half dressed, burst in behind her. "Ashe," began Basch, "It's not what it looks like…" He was immediately interrupted, "What else could it possibly be?" she demanded, causing both men to fall silent. "What's going on?" asked Vaan, who was still half asleep after having been dragged out of bed by Penelo only moments before. "Oh, not much!" said Ashe sarcastically, "Just the fact that these two were sleeping together naked!" Vaan's mouth fell open, Penelo choked a little, and Fran raised an eyebrow in Balthier's direction. "Um…what did you say?" asked Vaan finally; sure that he had heard her wrong. "These two…" said Ashe, raising her voice again and pointing at Balthier and Basch, "in bed…holding each other…NAKED!" The two men said nothing as their four comrades stared at them unbelieving. "Ok," said Balthier finally, breaking the awkward silence, "Maybe it is what it looks like." Small gasps came from the others, and Basch put his head in his hands and cursed, "Just calm down everyone," he said, "it's not that big of a deal." "It's not a big deal that you guys are fucking?" asked Ashe in shock. "You guys had sex?" shouted Vaan, as if the thought was just now occurring to him. Balthier sighed and looked over at Basch, not sure whether it would bother the older man if he put his arm around him to calm him. Suddenly he was angry, this was his ship after all…and he could fuck whoever he wanted on it. "Yes," he said angrily after a moment's contemplation, "We have fucked…several times at this point if you must know." He looked straight at Ashe when he said this, letting her know the comment was directed to her. No one said anything for a long time. Finally Ashe sat down, and everyone ate in silence. Every few minutes one of them would look up at Balthier or Basch curiously, as if they were a life form they'd never seen before. It was going to be a long trip.

Balthier was finishing dressing in his room after their awkward meal when he heard a soft knock on his door. Basch looked at him sheepishly when he entered, "I'm sorry" he said, looking at the floor, "It's my fault…I…I overslept. I did not mean for you to be embarrassed." Balthier couldn't help but smile at the blonde, "I'm not mad, Basch," he said, straightening his cuffs, "In fact I'm kind of glad it happened. This is my ship we shouldn't have to hide. In fact…" he said turning towards his lover and taking the other's hands in his own, "I want you to move into my room with me." Basch's eyes widened at this and he pulled the other man closer, "Really? You want to share a room with me?" "We both said we preferred sleeping next to each other," said the pirate, "It makes sense to me." The older man smiled and kissed his lover gently, "I agree," he said, "I'll move my stuff later tonight."

_To be continued…_

**Hope you guys enjoyed it! Review please!**


	3. Chapter 3

**And we're back… This is chapter 3 of Scar Tissue, which is rated M. Once again I don't own FFXII or its characters. Hope you enjoy! Please Review!**

**Scar Tissue**

**Chapter 3**

"We've gotten turned around again," said Ashe, "We're going in circles." "No, this is the right way I'm sure," panted Vaan. "If we'd gone and found the map urn when I said we should of we'd know which of you was right," pointed out Balthier, fiddling with his gun. Neither Fran, Basch, nor Penelo said anything, but stood silently in the desert heat, staring at the others. "Vaan _said_ he knew where we were going," argued the princess, putting her hand on her hip. "All I said was that I was pretty sure that…" started Vaan when he was interrupted by Basch, "It doesn't matter who is right and who is wrong. What is important is that we decide which way is best to go before we all die of heatstroke." "We should split up into pairs," said Balthier, "head in different directions and meet back here in two hours." The others agreed to this, and they split up into their regular pairs, Fran and Ashe went north, Vaan and Penelo went south, and Basch and Balthier headed west. They let themselves get out of sight before Basch slipped his hand into the pirate's as they traveled along in silence. The others still didn't seem to be comfortable around them since their relationship had been made public, and so in order to avoid the stares and whispers they tried to not show too much affection to each other when the others were around. It had been about three weeks since the pirate and ex-army captain had started sharing the master bedroom of the Strahl and aside from the rest of the party acting weird around them now things had been going well. Basch's thoughts were preoccupied. They had not talked about what would happen once Ashe regained the throne, but both of them knew that Basch would be expected to return with her, and that Balthier would return to roaming the skies. The two continued walking in silence, and finally the blonde brought up the subject that had been troubling him so, "When all this is over," he said, not turning to look at the pirate, "and Ashe is queen, what will you do?" Balthier didn't answer right away, but seemed to be searching for the right answer, "I can't help you play bodyguard to Ashe," he finally said, "I suppose Fran and I will take back to the skies." This response did not surprise the older man, but it saddened him greatly. It wasn't like they had made any promises to each other, neither of them had asked nor offered forever. "You could come with us," said Balthier quietly, looking over at the other man and squeezing his hand slightly. Basch didn't respond, but only squeezed the pirate's hand in return, "I guess we don't have to figure it all out now," he said finally. Balthier nodded slowly, and they both continued walking in silence.

Neither of them knew the desert well, and so it seemed that the sandstorm had come out of nowhere when really they should have seen it coming a mile off. Balthier tried to keep his grip on Basch's hand, but once he realized he'd let go he couldn't see the other man anymore. He spun around, unsure now of which direction he'd come from, "Basch!" he tried calling out, but only got a mouth full of sand for his effort. He stumbled forward, bending low to the ground in an attempt to escape some of the sand that flew into his eyes. He thought he heard someone call his name, and so he spun around again, trying desperately to figure out what direction the voice had come from. He could hear wolves nearby, but still could see nothing.

Bach called out to the pirate again, searching desperately for the shimmer of the other man's black and gold vest. He heard the cry of a wolf, knowing that were there was one, there were others as well. He heard a low growl behind him, and he drew his sword as he spun around, slicing into the wolf as he did. He could see the red of the blood on his sword, but not much else. Another wolf hit him from behind, and he was knocked face first to the ground, his sword flung far from his reach. He managed to roll over, but not before the wolf's claws dug into his back, ripping his flesh. The hot sand was brutal on the open wounds, but Basch had no time to dwell on the pain. The wolf was on his chest now, but he couldn't see the snarling teeth before they got too close for comfort. The sharp teeth made contact with his shoulder, ripping and tearing through skin and muscle. He scrambled to reach the dagger he kept in his boot, still trying to hold the wolf back so that he couldn't rip his throat out. The claws ripped at his chest, digging in deeper than they had in his back. His fingers finally brushed the hilt of the dagger, and he managed to get a grip on it, but not before he felt the wolf's teeth on the side of his face. He cried out, plunging the dagger into the wolf's side. It did not stop its attack, but continued to snarl and bite until Basch stabbed it an additional four times. Finally he was able to throw the wolf off of himself, clamoring to sit up. The sand bit at his wounds, and he winced in pain. He could only crawl forward, attempting to stand.

Balthier continued to stumble forward. The storm was beginning to die down, and the pirate thought he could see a bit of red a few feet away. He made a run for it when he saw that it was Basch's shirt he was seeing. "Basch!" he cried upon reaching him, "We have to find shelter!" The older man gripped his shoulder and leaned against him. Balthier, still unable to see well, did not realize the blonde was injured until he felt the wet blood across his chest and back. "Shit," he muttered under his breath, "Is…is it bad? I can't see." Basch winced in pain, "I'll be fine." The pirate was unnerved by how fast his heart was pounding, Basch said he was fine, but there was too much blood covering him for him to be ok. They managed to find a small cave nearby, and the brunette half carried the other man inside. Once in the safety of the cave he lit a fire, and now that he could see Basch's wounds his mood had gone from worried to terrified. He removed what was left of the captain's shirt, trying to ignore the other man's small sounds of pain. The pirate turned to look through his bag. "Damn that boy!" he cried at finding that when Vaan had prepared everyone's packs that he hadn't put a single potion or remedy in his bag at all. It didn't improve matters to find that Basch's bag had been lost at some point along the way. He dipped a cloth in some water and attempted to clean the wounds as best as he could, which was not very well. "Basch, can you cast any magic?" he asked, leaning over the older man, "My healing skills aren't very strong." The blonde tried in vain to cast a healing spell, but he was just too weak, "No use," he whispered, his eyes half closed. Balthier cast what magic he could, but it didn't help all that much. He sat with the other man until he passed out. Once Basch's eyes closed, the pirate rose to clean himself off. His vest was beyond cleaning, stained with a mixture of sand, dirt, and blood. He removed it and tossed it away. His shirt was bloody as well, but it was the only one he had so he didn't bother taking it off. There wasn't a lot he could do at that point, so he went back over to Basch's sleeping form and sat down. Hours passed, and the pirate began to hope that one of the others had realized that they needed help since they had been gone for so long, and come looking for them. The storm had passed, but Balthier could not travel with Basch in his condition. For the first couple of hours he was somewhat calm, expecting the older man to wake up any minute, but when Basch did not regain consciousness he started to worry. He cast more healing spells, but as weak as they were they did not do much good. It was dark outside now, and the pirate began to shiver with the cold. He knew he shouldn't sleep, but he was so exhausted that he couldn't possibly keep his eyes open. Curling up next to Basch for warmth and to make him feel a little less alone, he began to think. What is Basch died? No, he didn't want to think about that. "What are you thinking about?" asked a whispery voice beside him. The pirate turned to see the older man staring at him with bloodshot eyes, "Are you ok?" he asked him, knowing the answer already. "I told you, I'll be fine," said the blonde, but he didn't look fine. Balthier sighed and sat up, grabbing his water skin and holding it to the other man's lips. "The storm stopped," he said as he gently pushed a stray blonde lock of hair out of the other man's eyes, "The others will probably start looking for us soon." Basch coughed quietly, "If they are able. They could have just as easily run into trouble as well." Balthier hadn't thought about this, and the spark of hope that had been growing deep inside him was now put out. Basch needed medical attention, and he needed it fast.

Morning came, and still there was no sign of the others. He had expected Basch to have a fever, but the captain was as cold as ice. He built up the fire, not knowing what else to do to help the older man, and sat back down beside him. "I must look horrible," he said aloud to himself as he caught a glimpse of his blood and dust stained shirt. "Only you could be vain enough to be worried about how you look at a time like this," chuckled Basch, whom the pirate had not seen open his eyes. Balthier smiled, but it soon faded when he looked over at the other man. He was thinking of something to say, anything to assure Basch that everything was going to be alright. "I changed my mind," said Basch, not giving the brunette a chance to say anything. "Changed your mind?" he asked attempting to wipe the others wounds with a jeweled hand. "About going with you…when it's all over…I…I would like to go with you," the older man was not looking at him now, and Balthier wondered if he were serious or if he were delusional from lack of blood. "You don't have to decide anything now," he said soothingly. "You don't want me to come?" asked the other man, snapping his eyes up to meet the pirate's. "I didn't say that," said Balthier, "I just don't want you to make promises when you don't know what you're saying." To his surprise Basch got up and started to stumble towards the mouth of the cave. "What in all Ivalice do you think you're doing!" called the pirate after him as he jumped up and attempted to guide the older man back down to the ground. "Don't touch me Balthier," the captain practically snarled when the pirate reached out to grab the older man's arm. Balthier was too shocked to say anything for a moment; he just stood there looking at the other man with wide eyes. "Don't look so hurt and pitiful, Balthier, I'm not giving in to that shit…not anymore," the blonde snapped as he slide to the ground, unable to continue to stand on his own. Balthier finally found his voice, "What the hell has come over you?" he said, still too hurt to yell. "I should have known that I was just a way to pass your time," said Basch, "Everybody knows _you_ aren't the long term sort of guy. As soon as the fucking quest is over you'll be gone. Well, you know what Balthier?" he asked, glaring at the pirate, but he didn't give him a chance to say anything, "I don't give a shit! I don't even want to be with you anyway so its fine with me!" "Basch, that's not…" interrupted the pirate, honestly hurt and confused, but Basch didn't let him finish, "Just shut up, Balthier. Whatever we had is over, as of right now." The pirate couldn't say anything, so he went to the opposite side of the cave and sat down against the wall with his knees tucked under his chin. Basch fell asleep pretty soon, so he didn't hear the pirate weeping long into the night.

_To be continued…_

**More to come! Review please! Hope you enjoyed.**


	4. Chapter 4

**May be the last chapter, maybe not. Still rate M, and I still don't own em'. Reviewing is polite!**

**Scar Tissue **

**Chapter 4**

The pirate hadn't talked to him in weeks. Not that Basch could blame him at all, and of course he hadn't yet attempted to explain to the younger man that he had panicked back in the cave that night. In a desperate attempt to keep from getting hurt he'd broken the pirate's heart, stomped on the pieces, and acted like nothing less than a total dick ever since. For the first few days if was obvious that Balthier had been trying to make amends, but he could only take so much, and finally he'd completely given up and starting treating Basch just like he treated everyone else on the ship now…which was like shit. It had been nearly two weeks now since the pirate had stopped even trying…

_They had been eating dinner in the kitchen of the Strahl when it happened, the straw that broke the pirate's back that is. "I think we should take Basch off the cooking rotation," Vaan had joked, eyeing the greenish slimy stew on his plate. The others laughed, except for Balthier, who had been strangely quiet around the others since they'd been rescued in the cave. Basch smiled at the boy and chuckled, "You don't like my cooking Vaan? I learned this recipe in prison; we used to eat this all the time there," he joked. It was true that Basch was the worst cook among them, and everyone tried to have a sense of humor about the horrible dishes he usually prepared. "Well," said Vaan, "I can't wait until we land in civilization so that I can have a decent meal." "I'd settle for some fresh air," smiled Ashe as she poked at the slim on her plate. Balthier had still not looked up from his plate ever since he'd sat down, nor had he eaten in days. He sat there, his head down, resting on one hand while the other gently pushed the contents of his plate from one side to the other. "What about you, Basch?" asked Penelo, "What's the first thing you're gonna do once we reach civilization?" "Well," sighed the blonde with a bit of a chuckle in his voice, "I think I'll get roaring drunk and find a nice dark corner containing a pretty girl, and stay there all night." The words had barely escaped his lips when the pirate stood quickly, knocking his chair backwards to the floor, and threw his full plate against the wall where it shattered into dozens of pieces. He didn't say anything before storming out of the room. "You don't have to be cruel Basch," said Ashe accusingly as she stood from the table, "I mean you're really an ass sometimes!" Ashe left the room, and Basch assumed she had gone after Balthier. He bowed his head and sighed as the others silently went back to picking at their food. Why did he keep doing things like this? He loved Balthier, yes…loved him. He'd known that back in the cave. He was just trying to get back at him. But for what? For not following him into a life of servitude to Ashe willingly? He pushed back his plate and stood from the table. He knew he should go after the brunette, grab him and kiss him silly and tell him he loved him and that he was sorry, but he knew he wouldn't do it. _

_There was a soft knock on Balthier's bedroom door. "Balthier? It's Ashe…can I come in?" called a quiet voice. Balthier sighed, "I guess." He sat down when she entered, not daring to look her in the eyes and trying his best to hold back the tears that threatened to spill down his cheeks. "I'm sorry Basch is being such an ass," she said, sitting on the bed beside him. He nodded silently, not knowing what to say. "It's not your fault," he finally managed to whisper. "I know you probably don't want to talk about it," she said, "you're not the type to talk about stuff like this, but…if you wanted someone to talk too…" A choked sob from the pirate interrupted her. Ashe was shocked. Balthier was…crying. She, nor anyone else on the ship, would have thought the man had ever cried in his life…much less in front of someone. She regained her composure and put a hand on the man's shoulder. She could see the tears spilling freely down his face now, even though he tried to wipe them away as quickly as he could. "I love him," he whispered, still not looking up at her, "I don't know what happened. One minute everything was fine and then…this." She put her arm fully around him now, and she sat there with him for a minute, not saying anything as he sat there with his head in his hands and sobbed freely. _

_When she left the brunette's room she stormed into Basch's bedroom without knocking. Startled, Basch shot up out of his bed, "Ashe! What are you…" he started but she cut him off, "What the hell did you do to him?" she asked in fury. "What did I do to who?" he asked, still quite shocked. "Who know who," she yelled, "Balthier! I just sat there while he cried his eyes out! Because of YOU!" "He…he cried?" Basch asked, his expression telling Ashe that this information was as unsettling to him as it had been to her. "Yes," she said, allowing herself to calm down a bit, "He cried a lot. You need to do something about whatever the hell it is that's going on between you two." She didn't say anything more before turning and leaving. Basch had tried to go to Balthier's room and talk to him, but the pirate refused to answer the door or speak to him at all. _

That had been nearly two weeks ago, and Balthier had not spoken a word to anyone that was not a direct question or command pertaining to the quest. The other man's silence was unnerving Basch, and at that point he was so out of sorts from having the man he loved ignore him completely that he would have given anything for the brunette just to glance in his direction. Finally they returned to Rabanastre, and Basch wondered if Balthier really thought that he intended on finding a dark corner with a girl like he had joked he would weeks ago, but if it crossed the pirate's mind he didn't show it. They left the ship, and split up as they normally did, but Balthier did not leave the ship. Basch went back once he realized that the pirate was not going to come into town. He found him in the cockpit, one foot propped up on the control panel and a Bhujerbian cigarette in his hand. The older man took the seat next to him, and sat there a minute waiting for the other to acknowledge his presence. The brunette however, did not so much as turn and glance in Basch's direction. "So you're never going to speak to me again, is that it?" he asked finally. "I think you've said enough for both of us," whispered Balthier, taking a long hit on his cigarette. Basch now noticed the dark circles under the pirate's eyes, and the fact that his hand was slightly shaking. And then he realized that he hadn't seen the other man eat in over a week, and that he was thinner than he should have been and was covered in a light layer of clammy looking sweat. He cursed himself inwardly for being so caught up in his own pathetic issues that he hadn't noticed all this before. "When's the last time you ate, Balthier?" he asked, not attempting to hide the concern in his voice this time. This made the other man turn and look him in the eye, "I expect you'd be the last person to care_ dear captain_," he muttered, once again bringing the cigarette to his lips. "Is it true, what Ashe said," asked Basch, ignoring the other man's harsh words, "did you cry?" The pirate sighed deeply and put a ringed hand to his forehead, "Yes," he finally said, letting his chair swivel around to face the older man, "Does that make you happy? Hmm?" he asked leaning forward with a haunting look in his eyes, "Does that make you fucking happy you asshole? Yes, I have feelings too! And you never stopped to ask what _I _wanted did you? Never stopped to think that I might be fucking in love with your sorry ass?" He sat back again and turned away from the older man, who, sitting with his mouth open…didn't know what to say. "I love you too, Balthier," he said finally, reaching out to touch the pirate's hand. Balthier glanced suspiciously at the calloused hand resting on his own, part of him wanted to pull away, and the other part wanted nothing more than to throw himself into the other man's arms. "It's too late for that Basch," he said quietly and he left the cockpit without looking back. This time it was Basch's turn to wipe tears from his eyes.

"We've got to make him eat," said Fran to the others sitting at the table in the dark inn. They had called an emergency meeting about Balthier's state of health, and since the pirate had refused to leave the ship the inn was the perfect place to meet. "This is all my fault," said Basch, looking down at the table. No one said anything, mostly because they knew it was true. "This is not the time to place blame," said Fran, "If Balthier does not start taking care of himself he will die." The others slowly nodded, not really knowing what to say. "He won't go along with this," said Vaan, "What are we supposed to do, force feed him?" "We could knock him unconscious," said Fran blatantly, "and give him nourishment through an IV." The others starred at her with shock, but she gave no indication that she was joking. "You…you expect us to knock him out?" asked Vaan, scanning the table to see if the others were as against the idea as he was. "No," said Fran, looking from Vaan to Basch, "I expect…Basch…to knock him out." The ex-army captain coughed in surprise, "What? Why me?" he asked. "Because you're right," Fran said, "this IS your fault." And so the matter was settled.

"Balthier I just want to talk for a minute," Basch called as he knocked on the pirate's door again, but still there was no answer. "Balthier, if you don't answer the damn door I'll have no choice but to break it down," he threatened, but still there was not so much as a sound behind the door. Basch sighed and rested his head on the locked door. "Balthier please," he begged, "Just open the door," he stood there another thirty seconds before getting angry, "Ok then," he shouted, "I'm breaking it down!" He went back to the main room of the Strahl where the others were waiting for him. "Well?" asked Penelo, "What happened?" "He won't let me in," sighed Basch, reaching for his sword, "I'm going to break down the door." The others hurriedly followed him down the hall to the pirate's room. "Balthier!" he called again, "Last chance to let me in!" When no answer came he started swinging the sword, sending splinters of wood in every direction.

They were unsure how the pirate would react to all of this, but none of them had expected this. He was sitting on the floor with his back against the wall, bloodshot eyes half closed. His vest was nowhere in sight, and his white shirt was wrinkled and unbuttoned. His skin was covered in sweat, he was shaking uncontrollably. He was somewhat looking at them, and smirked, "I was…wondering…if you'd really do it," he said with a slight smile. Basch scooped the younger man up into his arms and laid him on the bed, "Balthier I need you to tell me what you've taken," he said with such a serious look on his face that both Vaan and Penelo became a little frightened. "Taken?" asked the pirate, the smirk still crossing his lips. "Goddamnit Balthier tell me!" yelled Basch, shaking the brunette harshly by the shoulders. The pirate only chuckled and closed his eyes. Basch, at his wits end, yanked the brunette up by his shirt and used his strong fingers to pry the pirate's mouth open, and then proceeded to jam two fingers down his throat. Balthier's eyes flew open, and he tried, unsuccessfully to grab the blonde's wrist and pull the fingers out. He made a choking sound, but still Basch did not remove his fingers until the pirate retched up everything in his stomach. "Jesus Basch!" yelled Vaan as Balthier fell backwards onto the bed, gasping for breath. Both Penelo and Fran comforted the pirate as Basch examined the mixture of vomit and pills that Balthier had spewed on the bed. "Leave us alone a minute," he told the others, "he'll be fine now." The others left reluctantly, especially Fran, who eyed him suspiciously before leaving. Basch went over to the pirate, who shied away from him in fear. "Shhh, come here, Balthier, I'm not going to hurt you," he whispered gently. He wrapped his arms around the younger man and pulled him into his lap. He kissed his forehead and stroked his hair until the younger man calmed down and looked up at him. "Don't you EVER do something so stupid ever again," he told the brunette, "I know this is all my fault…I…love you…and if you…I couldn't…." Balthier put a ringed finger to the older man's lips, "I love you too Basch," he whispered, his voice a little hoarse from Basch's fingers scraping his throat, "and don't you ever be so stupid again." Basch couldn't stop the tear that slipped from his eye, and he gripped the pirate even tighter.

Balthier was weak for a while after everything that had happened, but before long he started to regain his strength. He and Basch both decided that they would stay on the Strahl once the quest was over, and live together in peace, flying wherever they felt like. When Basch would think back on how he almost lost his pirate he knew that he would never let Balthier think that he did not love him again. The incident was an ugly scar in their past together, but had shown them exactly what they really meant to each other, and the scar tissue that had grown over the wound had made their love stronger.

The end.

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